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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Girl at the Lunch Table


She was long, gangly and awkward, like what I’d imagine a female Ichabod Crane would look like. She was there, like always, behind the long rectangular faux wood table sitting on an unnaturally burgundy colored chair that was dwarfed in comparison to her size. But she was not heavy, not in the slightest. In fact, she was especially thin which may have intensified the gangly look.


And the slouching didn’t distract anyone from her height, whether that was the intent or not. Both elbows were resting on the table, her forearms like two cylindrical yardsticks. They nearly rose higher than her downturned head. She took a bite of an apple from her left hand. With a twist of her wrist, she propped it up in that hand and held it there as if she was presenting it to an invisible someone standing to the left of her. The right hand was slumped and turned inward, held up by the arm that was subconsciously mimicking the other arm serving the purpose.


It was 12 o’clock and it was lunchtime.


Although she was slouched over, her hair did not fall in front of her face. It was held together in a tight knot at the back of her head. Not a loose strand veered or went astray. Had some hair got loose, maybe it would have shielded her Ichabod nose. It really was only slightly bent at the bridge, and only noticeable if you could look past her height to see her face, which most didn’t.


I still say she could’ve been pretty with some make up. Or at least feminine. Her features were so pale, so muted, almost colorless. It was like looking at a living coloring book character. Her lips weren’t even pink.


I’m not sure if she ever noticed me noticing her. She mostly stared at the table, but every five minutes or so, she would glance up at the wall clock in front of her. I sometimes wondered if she was willing the hands on the clock to move faster, or if she was worried that she’d be late. I also wondered, though less frequently, why I bothered to care.


Just because she was family didn't mean I had to care about her. And I certainly wouldn't let any one at my lunch table know if I did. But it doesn't matter because I don't.


Saturday, February 6, 2010

Harry Potter and the Awkward Silence

Harry Potter and the Common Room Discussions
A collection of short skits written by me that take place in the Gryfindor common room, based on characters created by the brilliant J.K. Rowling.


Harry Potter and the Awkward Silence
Note: This would have happend pre-book 7, of course.

[Harry, Ron, Hermione get out their books to do some homework before going to bed]

Ron: "Hey, can I see what you've got done so far on your Ancient Runes paper?"

[Ron leans closely to look at the paper and accidentally brushes against her shoulder. Ron blushes red]

Ron: "Um, sorry"
Hermione: "Ron, I think we need to talk."

[Ron backs away from her.]

Ron: "Talk about what?"
Hermione: "You should know by now what I mean."

[Ron turns red]

Hermione: "This has been going on long enough."
Ron: "Um, I agree."

[Ron turns redder]

Hermione: "Really? I though you'd be angry with me."
Ron: "No, I'm okay with it, I guess. I kind of saw it coming."
Hermione: "Wow, Ron. You are more mature than I thought."
Ron: "What did you expect me to do?"

[Ron looks offended]

Hermione: "Normally I would think that you'd throw a tantrum. I can't believe you're not complaining that you can't cheat off my papers anymore."

[A long silence ensues]

Ron: "Papers... ah yes, no more cheating. Got it."

[Another long silence]

Hermione: "Well, right then. Good. I'm going to go feed Crookshanks. I'll be back in a minute."

[Hermione goes up to her dormitory]

Harry: [teasing] "I've got the feeling you thought she was talking about something else."

[Ron sinks down in his chair]

Ron: "Shove it, Harry."

Harry Potter and the Pottery Barn Discussion

Harry Potter and the Common Room Discussions
A collection of short skits written by me that take place in the Gryfindor common room, based on characters created by the brilliant J.K. Rowling.


Harry Potter and the Pottery Barn Discussion

Note: This skit is in reference to Harry's character in the movies. Often he says "hang on" or "wait" and then thinks through what he has just learned out loud.


[Harry, Ron, Hermione sit by the fire in the common room]

Hermione: "Harry, promise me you will never go into Pottery Barn."
Harry: "But, why?"
Hermione: "Everything in there is breakable."
Harry: "So?"
Hermione: "You can never just look at something. You have to touch everything. Remember the Hand of Glory incident?"
Harry: "Yeah. So?"
Hermione: "You will break something!"
Harry: "Hang on. So what you're saying is that if I go into Pottery Barn I will have the tendency to touch everything therefore increase my chances of breaking a lot of merchandise?"
Hermione: "Do you have no inner monologue or are you that stupid that you can't put two and two together in your head?!"
Harry: "Let me get this straight. If I go in there and break something, perhaps several things, that could potentially add up to a lot of money I'd have to pay?"
Hermione: "I am sooo the brains of this trio it's not even funny!"

[Hermione exits the room]

Ron: "I don't know why she's all upset. It's not like you're a klutz or anything...Why would someone put pottery in a barn anyway? Wouldn't it be the animals who'd knock things over first?"
Harry: "Wait, did she just insult my intelligence?"

[End Scene]